Exposed & Vulnerable

I have changed my mind a hundred times about whether or not I was going to write this post.  I decided that to give myself more motivation and to hold myself accountable to the goals I’ve set, that I will write it, pictures, and all.  That being said, I have not disabled comments on this post, but I will remove any that are not nice, productive, or beneficial as this post has me feeling very vulnerable and exposed.

I have joined a weight-loss challenge online; it starts tomorrow.  The challenge is called That Weight Loss Challenge, and it is being coordinated by Jenna, also known as That Wife.  The winner of the challenge is the one who loses the biggest percentage over the challenge period.

I did not join this challenge because I think I’m fat or overweight – I don’t.  I joined because I am completely out of shape, and inactive.  I was an athlete (swimming & track mostly), and I have always been in good shape.  In the Fall of 2002, I shattered my left knee and spent several months in physical therapy, and until then, I had been running several times a week, playing softball, and hiking in the mountains frequently.  Quite frankly, I used the excuse of my knee to stop being so active, and as a result I stopped exercising completely.  The first clue I had that I was out of shape was when we were building our house and my dad made a comment about the “pooch” hanging over the top of my shorts – not only was it the first time he noticed, but it was the first time it had been pointed out to me (I still love you, Dad!).  I have also gradually been gaining weight so that I am now at a weight I am not comfortable with.

Another reason I am determined to start this challenge is because I have a HUGE genetic target on my back that just keeps getting bigger and bigger.  My maternal grandmother was an obese diabetic who died of heart failure.  Heaviness and diabetes runs in my family.  My mom is diabetic – controlled with diet and exercise, but still – diabetic.  Last year, my younger sister was diagnosed as diabetic.  There are so many people in my family with health problems, and I have been lucky so far, but I don’t want to push the envelope any longer.

So my goal is to start eating right and exercising so that if {when} that genetic target takes a hit, I can control my health issues with diet and exercise rather than medication.

Part of Jenna’s challenge was that you had to submit four pictures of yourself:  Front View, Side View, Back View, and a Scale View.  She is not publishing the pictures, but will use them as a before & after comparison for those participants who want her to at the end of the challenge.  They are more for motivation and accountability than anything.

Taking the picture of me on the scale wasn’t nearly as hard as taking the pictures of my body unmasked – relaxed, stomach not sucked in, wet hair, and no make up. 

I am good a selecting clothes that camouflage my troublesome spots (tummy, love handles, etc.).  Even though I see myself in the mirror daily, it’s not the same as seeing myself in pictures.  I am posting these pictures so I have motivation to make the changes I feel are necessary in my life right now.

The Views:

As I said, it is difficult to post these pictures publicly, but I am hoping at the end of the challenge I can post pictures that show how hard I’ve worked.