Today was the first day of school for all of our girlies, and they all had a wonderful day. This post, though, is not about the first day of school so much.
Today was the first day I had to admit completely that this wish of Emma’s was actually happening, that she was actually moving to Heppner to try living with her dad and step-mom. It was the first day where I had to face reality, and I avoided it as long as I possibly could.
I am excited for Emma to try this new adventure, and I am excited that she has the courage to try new things, even if they might seem a little scary. I am excited that she is getting the opportunity to live with her other family full-time ~ I am sure her brother and sister (Jess & Staci, too) are thrilled to have her there.
Here is a picture of Emma on her first day of Junior High. Staci sent it to me today.
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the
world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling
in at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay
Today was the first time EVER that I have not taken her to school on her first day, and I was fine with it most of the day. Work was crazy busy with new students, jammed lockers, and a million other little things, so I never really had time to think about it.
That is, until I got the e-mail this afternoon with this picture in it. I LOVE that Staci sent me this, and I LOVE that she is such a wonderful person. I hate that this picture reduced me to a blubbering idiot.
Facing reality really really sucks, there is no other way to put it. Right now I am wallowing in self-pity, trying to get over a broken heart that I knew was coming, but was unable to prevent.
Unfortunately, this is not a situation where I can just “put my big girl panties on and deal with it” like my mom always says. I will get through this, and I will be a better person for dealing with this emotional rollercoaster.