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Letting go.

I am not good at giving up control, just ask anyone in my family.  Over the past few years, I have become better at it; not necessarily good, mind you, but better.  I have learned that it is easier to let go gradually than it is to just give up control completely.  I have had time over the past four years to gradually let go of my oldest daughter, Emma.

Letting go gracefully.

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I say four years, because even though she graduated three years ago, her senior year was a large practice in letting go.  College options, apartment decisions, etc., were  all things I had to let go and let her make her own choices.  Then she graduated from high school and moved across the state for college.

More letting go.

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Now, nearly three years later, I am learning to let go again.  You see, my daughter, the one who made me a mother, is getting married.

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Letting go again.

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This time, though, in letting go, I am also gaining so much more.  I am gaining a son-in-law, Jordan, who I love dearly.  He makes Emma laugh, he challenges her, and he loves her beyond life itself.  I know that this time, letting go actually gives back so much more than I am giving away, and I have never been so happy to let go.  I am so excited for the adventures you are going to experience together, and the life you are going to make for yourselves.

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Letting go gracefully.

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If I could give my Divine Miss Em one thing in life, I would give her the ability to see herself through my eyes.  I truly believe that only then would she realize how truly beautiful and special she is.  I have loved watching her grow and become her own person, and then become a loving couple with Jordan.

Letting go gracefully.

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I am now finding myself wanting to squeeze in as much time with you as I can.  I am conscious of the fact that not only is the wedding a rite of passage for you, the bride, but it is also a rite of passage for me, as mother of the bride.  It means I am moving onto a different identity, a new phase of life – it is going to be a profound journey we both travel, and part of letting go is embracing the journey and not worrying about the destination.  I will no longer be just Mom, but I will be Mother-In-Law (I promise to not be evil), and eventually, maybe even Grandma.

Letting go gracefully.

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If, from time to time, you feel me pulling back the reins trying to keep control, please be patient and remember that you are the learning curve.

Letting go gracefully.

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I was never a mother before you.  You created me, the mother.  That very specific moment was at 4:47 p.m., December 7, 1994.  The instant I held you, you stole my heart forever.  You were perfect; rosy-cheeked, blue-eyed, 6 pounds 12 ounces, and beautiful.

Letting go gracefully.

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Emma Kate, you are loved more than you will ever know.  You are an amazing woman.  You are beautiful, graceful, stubborn, caring, funny, smart, and compassionate.  Thank you for helping me be the best mother I know how to be.

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I love you, and I am letting go gracefully and gladly.

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Amy

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